Bradley Hospital Parenting Guide:
Parent/Child Communication
Parents: How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen
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If things seem overwhelming, Bradley Hospital has
the staff and resources to help. We have individual, group
and family therapy designed to improve communication within
the family.
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It's normal for teenagers to feel rebellious or
to intensify situations beyond what seems reasonable to you.
These years are difficult for your child because they leave behind
the ease and security of childhood to explore the freedoms of adulthood.
They won't always know how to talk with you, but they need you to
listen.
Teenagers make mistakes simply because they lack experience. It's
like starting a new job. You don't know exactly how things are done
at the new place, the work itself may be tougher and unfamiliar
to you, and you're unsure whether you'll live up to expectations.
Communication Tips
If there seems to be a breakdown in communication with your teenager,
try these ideas:
- Make time for talking. Establish a point in your day when your
child knows you are available.
- Try to relate to your child's perspective. For example, "Nothing's
bothering me" can really mean, "I want to try and handle
this on my own." "I hate you" might simply mean
"I'm angry." As an adult, you have more responsibility
to make communication work.
- Don't piggyback complaints when you're upset or angry. If your
son is late getting home, don't criticize the friends he hangs
out with. It's easier to deal with one issue at a time.
- Don't make rules that you won't enforce or threats that you
won't keep. It damages your credibility and can encourage your
child to test your limits.
- Try not to be judgmental, defensive, accusing or negative when
your child is trying either to tell you something or to answer
a question. Don't interrupt, correct grammar or do two things
at once. These are all signals that you aren't really interested.
- Show concern for your child's feelings. This can go a long way
toward earning trust.
- Pay attention to behaviors as well as words. Sometimes the words
sound okay, but something else doesn't seem right. Trust your
instinct. It might take extra effort to draw your child out.
- Try not to say things you don't really mean, even in the heat
of an argument. You can't take words back.
- Try to balance your concern with faith in your child. The years
you invested in your relationship haven't been lost on them.
- Give a copy of this to your child. It might help your child
see things a little more the way you do.
More about parent/child communication 
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