Many parents wait to tell their child that they are not their birth parents. Parents worry about telling their child about being adopted because they fear it will hurt him or her, but when being adopted is part of a child's identity from the very beginning, it is less of an issue. When a child is much older, and the information has been withheld, then it may become a big problem.
Your child may react to being told that he or she is adopted with intense feelings of mistrust. It may feel like a betrayal. In addition, your child may feel as though being adopted is something that is negative or shameful due to the fact that you felt it had to be concealed.
If your child is already an older child or adolescent, you may want to seek the advice of a specialist about the best way to reveal information that will now be sensitive. All children react differently to situations such as these. By speaking with a specialist, you can decide what is the best way to tell your child and whether a specialist should be involved in the process of telling.
How Should Discussions about Adoption be Approached?